Give me a TV show! You're embarrassing me! SpongeBob SquarePants: First go like this, spin around - stop! Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! Maybe Krabbs can handle one Plankton, but let's see him take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand! Then why does your house have feet? Anyone who comes in with a mouth full of clams gets a free drink. Mr. Krabs: But Pearl, those are the finest fishing boots available. He's not here at the moment. To get to the SpongeBob, I'll show him compassion and understanding. [lots of Spongebobs pop up and form circles around Patrick], SpongeBob: I'm gonna go find another dream. [looks at Spongebob holding his candy bar] Aha! This is what we call ADVANCED darkness. Why didn't you just say I was pushing you too hard? Don't let him get away. SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, in the movie, the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot. SpongeBob SquarePants: [noticing Patrick] Oh hi Patrick, I'm confused. [Jellyfish is sitting on a toilet, reading the newspaper and humming]. SpongeBob Squarepants: I'll slice the buns! Patrick Star: What do you mean? I mean, the Krusty Krab has got to go. SpongeBob SquarePants: [Present] One, two... Oh, no, that's three! [shows a closeup of Patrick's fat and bloated stomach full of cellulite], [Talking about the advantages of being felons]. Run for your life! [Gary has gone inside the washing machine, burrowing his head into the back pocket of Patrick's shorts] He only like me for my shorts! I’ve exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet…from A to Y!” –, “Patrick, you’ve been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight! When that pie steps up to bat - I mean, hits his lower intestine - Boom! You're a loser who sits and cries! The smelly smell that smells... smelly. SpongeBob SquarePants: Barnacles! And milkie! Patrick Starfish: We destroyed your oldest and most prized possession! Mr. Krabs: How would you like a job, starting right now? SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward? SpongeBob SquarePants: The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and may only be discussed, in part or in whole, with its creator Mr. Krabs. Squidward: [Patrick gets close to Squidward in the well] Stop standing so close to me Patrick, you're making me claustrophobic. It's... [He fires his pop-gun, but traps himself instead]... me that's got me. Squidward Tentacles: If SpongeBob is living here, that means he's not living... next to me! [Montage of Squidward sleeping on the job]. The best time to wear a striped sweater... is all the time. A loyal employee. Are you ready to party, SpongeBob? Sandy Cheeks: It's when I sleep all winter. SpongeBob SquarePants: Ripped pants a la mode! Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab? Everything works out. Squidward: He made me provide excellent service! SpongeBob: What if I said "blargen fa-diddle nachen?". I don't need it. Squilliam: It's big and valuable. SpongeBob SquarePants: We are here to please you. Then... pelvic thrust! SpongeBob SquarePants: Why did he have to leave us like this? Patrick: Does anybody have a quarter? SpongeBob SquarePants: Got your secret recipe, Mr. Krabs. Patrick: Lighten up, will ya? Karen: Befriend the SpongeBob, then, when the timing is just right, take the Krabby Patty. [Sinister laugh] I mean, you'll be cured in no time. SpongeBob SquarePants: Boy, I should have known. Mr. Krabs: I don't get it. SpongeBob SquarePants: What's this? Patrick: But what am I supposed to do all day while you're gone? SpongeBob SquarePants: Mystery, you ate my hat. Hmm, This one's not finished. Flying Dutchman: Aye, but it's based on a real treasure. Mermaid Man: [Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy crash through Spongebob's house] Mermaid Man! SpongeBob SquarePants: Right. Sandy Cheeks: Hmm. Narrator: Ah, the sea. Quick, hide behind that building! Squidward: Oh calm down, calm down. SpongeBob: Sorry's not good enough, Patrick. SpongeBob: You're under arrest, Atomic Flounder! Narrator: For SpongeBob SquarePants, every day is a holiday, even if he has to make one up. Squidward Tentacles: [shoving SpongeBob out of the way] I thought you'd never ask! Squidward! I'm gonna skip right past the jokes and proceed immediately to the part where I throw pie at you. The Flying Dutchman: OK Krabs, I'll let you stay. SpongeBob SquarePants: What's in the box. Patrick: At the intersection of Conch and Coral. Patrick: We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking, here. See? [his upper body drops into his pants]. SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward, you're steaming. SpongeBob: [now ripped in half by the gorilla] Patrick? Mr. Krabs: And do you know what happens when you don't float back down? SpongeBob SquarePants: [nervously] Y-Yes! Plankton: You know, Karen, sometimes I wonder if you're here to help me or to make me feel two inches tall. Squidward Tentacles: And it only took you eleventy-seven years to figure that out? Squidward: Patrick! I need the list for Sunday. I'm ready! Five seconds till detonation. Kelpy G has his very own TV show where he performs smooth jazz. Sandy Cheeks: Hey, SpongeBob. Warden: What in the seven seas just assaulted my eardrums? SpongeBob SquarePants: How do you know my name? Mermaid Man: That guy over there used to be the Atomic Flounder. Now, let's go back to the Krusty Krab and have a fresh one, on me. Squidward: Spongebob, there are two problems with your theory. Squidward: I'm not going to let you two monsters ruin my evening. Squidward Tentacles: [Jack Kahuna Laguna gets swallowed by the Big One] I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein diet. How I am supposed to cut the crusts off a bun? SpongeBob SquarePants: Am I a pretty girl? And for the ladies, hairy. Are you ready to par-tay, SpongeBob? Plankton: [Under microscope] I'll show you a sub-species! _Once an ugly barnacle existed, you know? You have to stop living in the past. You weak minded fool! Could you keep it down? SpongeBob: G-Gary, turn around, Gary, turn around. And now you're telling me they thought they could drive... [SpongeBob runs over Squidward with the rock]... rocks? MR. KRABS! Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? Squilliam Fancyson: Oh, just exceeding in everything *you* failed in. Goofy, goofy, goofy, goofy goober! Mr. Krabs: Are you on allergy medication, boy? SpongeBob SquarePants: Too tough for me? Pearl: [thinking it's only SpongeBob in disguise] Oh, really? Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Well, get out of there. Squidward Tentacles: Shut your half-wit pieholes! SpongeBob SquarePants: Defense calls Mr. Squidward to the stand. There's something I've always wanted to tell you since the first day I met you: Goodbye. SpongeBob: Good morning, sir. Squidward Tentacles: SpongeBob! A glass ball that lights up so you can see in the dark. Assert yourself!”. SpongeBob SquarePants: I know. Mr. Krabs: This boot to be exact. Patrick: They didn't get me anything either. Sorry to keep you waiting. SpongeBob: The sash wringing... the trash thinging... mash flinging... the flash springing, bringing the the crash thinging the... Squidward: Yes. Oh, my best friend. Right, Mr. Patrick: [Wearing SpongeBob's pants] Patrick SquarePants! Why didn't you say so? Squidward: Squilliam Fancyson from band class? SpongeBob SquarePants: I guess Grampa SquarePants was right: Never run for a bus... SpongeBob SquarePants: ...especially one that's going up at a 90 degree angle. [to himself]... suckers. YOU'RE ALIVE! And the superhero-supervillain rules require you to do what I say. You are full of style. Now that we're men, we have facial hair! It's always working when you're too tired to work! This thing is unfit to even scrub the Royal tail fin! [Patrick takes a tree and makes a pair of Dutch shoes out of them]. Squidward: Ha-ha! That smell, the kind of smelly smell. Sandy Cheeks: Uh-huh, yeah. [He and Patrick put water jugs on their heads]. SpongeBob SquarePants: [angry] So! Flatter the customer. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Sandy Cheeks: Here, Patrick. [tiny wrinkled worm of a fish in a wheelchair comes out of the house]. SpongeBob SquarePants: Maybe we should build a fire. Squidward Tentacles: Oh, what's going to happen? Squidward Tentacles: I'm gonna die of hypothermia. SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward, we already played Babble Like an Idiot. Tags:
A monster, scaring away me customers! SpongeBob SquarePants: [Looking through the magazine Fancy Living Digest with Patrick] Look at all these glossy pictures of a higher standard of living! Without him the lightbulb will have nothing to warm! No Pssh! Go ahead play dead! Spongebob: I get to lead? [Tosses the patty in the air and catches it with his pores], [Tosses the ingredients in the air and catches them with his pores], [Squirts mustard in the air and catches it in his eye]. I'm Squidward! That just wasn't fair! Patrick: [On walkie-talkie] SpongeBob! SpongeBob SquarePants: Sure. Hot Sauce Drop: By the powers of naughtiness, I command this particular drop of hot sauce to be very, very hot! SpongeBob SquarePants: Well, it's no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly. She's my friend. SpongeBob SquarePants has been praised for its appeal to different age groups, and it has received many awards throughout its run. Patrick: Oh so that's how it is huh?, once a thief always a thief! Security! Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy this. SpongeBob worker: You don't pay me. [SpongeBob runs around in circles, crying] He's acting all crazy! After all, I got a couple of dumbbells right here. That's the last one 'till morning. Patrick: You're not going to work today, we're going to play hooky! WE STOLE A BALLOON! Patrick: [attempting to get the paint off the dollar by whacking it with a club] Off!, off!, off! He was so ugly that everybody died. I want to move so far away, I'd be able to brag about it. Patrick: Hey, if we're under water, how can there be a... SpongeBob SquarePants: Hibernation? Besides, I don’t get jazz. [Gary collapses from exhaustion at the Snail Race]. [to Pearl] I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! It's under your nose. Karen: I can't understand why you just don't steal a Krabby Patty in all the confusion? You got the job. _Dump individuals are not blissfully aware of how dumb they actually happen to be. I worship you! Squidward: Le quit fooling around. You shall be tested in a challenge. And I bet tomorrow isn't even your birthday! My first day off in three years and I have to spend it testifying? SpongeBob SquarePants: She seems mysterious, so I'll call her Mystery. I don't need it. _At times it is important for us to go deep within ourselves for solving any issues. A smelly smell that smells... smelly. Patrick Star: Oh, but it's not you that's got me. I think you need that hospital over there. SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, that's not a stupid noise; that's just Junior about to jump out of that two-story window. Next time it's gonna be Go Jump Off a Cliff Day. Maybe Plankton HAS gone straight. SpongeBob SquarePants: Do you think there's still hope for me? Narrator: Six and a half hours later.
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