home movies coach mcguirk quotes

Fenton's Mom: [breaking down] Oh, Fenton! Brendon: Uh, the movie was so boring I spliced in a scene of two dogs having sex. [slips under podium]. People die. Great. Melissa. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Coach McGuirk: You know, it's like when they stop a boxing match because the guy's bleeding too much, you know, all cut up. How 'bout that, Brendon? Good. [beat] Let's get something to eat - I'm starved! So when you're there, you call it the can, all right? Melissa Robbins: Shouldn't we stay down here with you? Like you have to get a degree, right? They're all conmen, all of them. Direction: Brendon is eating dinner, consisting of a white mush, at Fenton's house. Melissa Robbins: Did you try lying on your bed and, you know, having your eyes closed and just relaxing? Like you have to get a degree, right? I look like a magician. I wasn't paying attention. You know, Melissa, if we played the full game, we probably would have lost by a hundred goals. Jason: [into a walkie-talkie] Look, I'm just happy everybody's safe. Coach McGuirk: Yes you are, Brendon, now shut up. / U-S? Right, like, Brendon, when we found the cat it had rabies. I made that one up. Go enjoy it. A page for describing Funny: Home Movies. In fact, she's gorgeous! Brendon: I'm not sure that Kafka's "Metamorphosis" is the *best* idea for a rock opera... Arnold Lindenson: [plastered on a box of wine] Now LOOK at you. Melissa Robbins: No, we need to get a video camera. Judge: Have I seen you in court before? Veterinarian: We don't actually call it "killing the cat," Brendon. Coach McGuirk: Uh, John McGuirk, Your Honor. Coach McGuirk: [intrigued] What, like a DIRTY mag? Coach McGurk may have been a down-on-his-luck, bad-with-women deadbeat, but that didn’t mean the wisdom he imparted on young Brendon — in the absence of a father — wasn’t completely legit. *Nothing* like that crap! / No Way. The rule is Melissa, you separate. Thanks for your vote! Coach McGuirk: Remember what I told you about Area 51. Brendon Small: I'm being passive-aggressive, aren't I? Coach McGuirk: I actually got into a fight last week. We all showed up, and I'm proud of that.Melissa Robbins: Coach McGuirk, I was just wondering how come they cancelled the game after ten minutes?Coach McGuirk: Well, because we were losing by 20 goals, Melissa. Best Home Movies Quotes. I'm not so little... Brendon: Look at him out there; everybody else abandoned him. Are you on another bender? We all know that. Anybody... have any... .uh... requests? Dixie Smithley: I'd love to do a piece on you three kids! I mean, fractured jaws get wired shut; broken noses become badges of courage... Melissa. If you believe that any Site Content infringes upon your copyright, please notify us by email support@quotecatalog.com. Mulligan and Winooski sit and slurp their coffee. Melissa Robbins: Brendon, we dont even have any proof. And there's my dad. I'm gonna say no every time. Soccer is fall and winter. Uh, Your Honor, during the day of the accident, Brendon was suffering from a severe bout of, uh, mentally challenged... stuff. Coach McGuirk: Do you wanna know what a real rash is? So what you've gotta do, whenever you go to a public restroom, and you sit on a toilet seat, put the toilet seat cover down. Melissa Robbins: [weakly] My flesh is getting hot! Coach McGuirk: Oh, that's genius Melissa. Coach McGuirk: Your honour, might I suggest a spanking - on his tush-tush? “That's all there is; there isn't anymore.” —Ethel Barrymore, Home Movies is an American animated television sitcom that was originally broadcast from April 26, 1999 to April 4, 2004. Coach McGuirk: I'll race / To feel the wind in my face / And I'll race / To feel alive / And I'll race / To feel like I own this place / And I'll race until I die / And I'll race against the other racers / And I'll race with one big shout / And I'll race against the clock / And I'll race against myself / And I'll race / And I'll race! And there's the president of Scotland. It's MINE! Brendon: No it's not. Even the women.”, “I guess what I learned from all this is that the search is the most important part. I once went astray myself. Or God. I want pony rides! Brendon: [as some guy in a hat] HEY! But, if you're all in a group, in a cluster, you start banging into each other and then your heads collide and you die. About me. - Coach John McGuirk You know, Melissa, if we played the full game, we probably would have lost by a hundred goals. I'LL BURN YOU UP AND MAKE YOU CRISPY! Coach McGuirk: It tastes like pee turkey! I don't know why I'm saying "we". And I can say that, because we don't know each other at all, and neither of us is making any effort at all. Coach McGuirk: Where'd you learn that word, Melissa? Coach McGuirk: You don't know what insomnia is? Brendan, we're different, we're not studiers. Brendon Small: So wait a minute. It's not safe for everybody to be in the same place during a tornado Melissa. Brendon: I'm NOT retarded. I'M USING TELEKINESIS! Quotes.net. Attention all insomniacs, all you have to do to fall asleep, [shouts] is lie in your bed*! Coach McGuirk: Buying me lottery tickets... Coach McGuirk: Well, I just drank pee. . Stephanie: Well, yes there is. We truly appreciate your support. They're all conmen, all of them. Like you have to get a degree, right? Brendon: We're so creative we just might - sit in caf?s and drink cappuccino! Brendon, Jason, Melissa Robbins: We are artists and we're blessed - by - Zeus! Cause thats where I think the joke is. Coach McGuirk: All right, listen up, that was a good game. Alot of freaky interpretive dance stuff - beads, makeup - in other words *drugs*, Brendon. Linda: [In labor, screaming] Who's there? There's no such thing as psychology. Fenton Mulley: You don't look like you like it. Jason: Brendan... make this guy kiss my ass, and then put on some deodorant... because of the stink coming from him. So, we’ve put together some of Coach McGurk’s most teachable moments and words of wisdom, which hold up every bit as true today as it did when the series aired over a decade ago. Jason: Wow. Jump to: Quotes(6) Quotes. We truly appreciate your support. Brendon: They finish - they finish the coffee. Beer before liquor, throw up quicker. So the lesson is that when you search for something, don't find it. A great memorable quote from the Home Movies movie on Quotes.net - Coach McGuirk: Brendon, I know something is going on.Brendon: Nothing is going on, Coach McGuirk.Coach McGuirk: Hey, I said something's going on, now let me tell you a story, all right? Use the gentle talk. Coach McGuirk: No, it's not safe for everybody to be in the same place during a tornado, Melissa. But long before all that, he voiced the excellent Coach McGurk, the alcoholic soccer coach of the boy named Brendon from Home Movies. Coach McGuirk: Yeah, you get sucked into the funnel and everyone's separated then it's like a fun ride. I do have a degree.Coach McGuirk: Yeah, I'm not. Coach McGuirk: I'll tell you. Coach McGuirk: [drunk] You wanna know something? Coach John McGuirk: Oh my god, she's gorgeous. He's Using TELEKINESIS! You're gonna kill the cat? It's all made-up crap. Andrew Small: No... you look like a waiter at a restaurant that has no child labour laws. What's important is that my retarded nephew is innocent. Brendon: That's... that's what I thought I was tasting... Brendon: So read that last thing to me and really sell it big. "I pee in Coach McGuirk's … Melissa Robbins: Then they'll just call you idiot. Beabadoobee’s Debut Album Is An Epic Film Score For Growing Up, Walton Goggins On ‘John Bronco,’ His Life And Career, And Running Through The House With A Pickle In Your Mouth, The ‘SNL’ You Remember Isn’t Coming Back Anytime Soon, The Greatest Food Porn Scenes In Cinema History — From Timpani To Big Kahuna Burgers — And What We Can Learn From Them, Talking With NBA Veteran Al Harrington About Black Representation In Cannabis, The Best Ways To Research Down Ballot Candidates And State Measures, Master Brewer Jaega Wise On Getting More Women Into The Beer Industry And Brewing During A Pandemic. [Brendon, Melissa and Jason have won a trophy for Best Young Filmmakers of the Year]. Melissa Robbins: Philosophize and swat mosquitoes! Quotes.net. We're going for ice cream. Brendon: Yeah, it's where they store the frozen bodies of the aliens that landed on earth. Don't look at it! Brendon: [Shaking with anger] Knock! You can become coach, of a sport that you don't care about, you don't know how to play, you're not good with kids. They're all conmen, all of them. He's probably *retarded*. Though, savagely impeached for the shooting of Abe Lincoln, I will lead us into the demise of all humans! Temp Guy: MORONS, Paula? Coach McGuirk: Liquor before beer, never fear. [Brendon and Coach McGuirk are watching the popular new assistant coach, Drew, run the kids' soccer practice]. Coach McGuirk: Brendan! Coach McGuirk: Shut up and listen, Brendon. Coach McGuirk: Brendon, I know something is going on. You should write a book! Brendon: Coach, do you think I'm stupid? Coach McGuirk: [being examined by the nurse] Lady, you can come on to me all you want. Coach McGuirk: [screams and shouts of disgust coming from Brendan's home] What's, uh, that all about? https://www.quotes.net/movies/home_movies_quotes_103050. Clerk: Let me ask my manager. Coach McGuirk: Hey, I said something's going on, now let me tell you a story, all right? We all showed up, and I'm proud of that. Brendon Small: Yeah, but what if they figure out you're a liar? Coach McGuirk: I don't even know where I am right now, Your Honor. - Coach John McGuirk They're all conmen, all of them. . Wow. How could you? But, if you're all in a group, in a cluster, you start banging into each other and then your heads collide and you die. Coach McGuirk: Of course you're stupid, Brendon, all kids are stupid. and I haven't spoken to my mother since. Privacy Statement • Coach McGuirk: Uh, this is a poem I call "New York Times". That's why I'm denying it. Brendon : Coach… Brendon: Oh, no! It could go to war and die for its country. I'm Dixie Smithley from Channel 1 News and I wanted to congratulate you kids on your award! Coach McGuirk: I don't know from poetry, Brendon. I, George Washington, born in 1492, freer of the slaves, and the first president of this, our country! Judge: What I'm doing is deciding an appropriate punishment. Melissa Robbins: Coach, my arm's broken, remember? Coach McGuirk: I can't sleep, I have insomnia.

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